No One [is] Home

Serendipitous musings...

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Dear Voicemail Icon On My Android Screen,

I see you glaring at me from the corner of my screen.  I can even hear you screaming in that “only dogs can hear” voice that you’ve perfected.  I should probably see what you want…but I imagine hearing that robotic lady’s voice tell me I have “13 new messages” then I imagine having to listen to people hem and haw over their nothingness that they could have just texted me -and I feel shingles forming.  My mom will say to call her back, which I’m sure I already did days ago.  Some lady with my future in the palm of her hand will request a call back, which I won’t give in to.  There will be a few more from lions and tigers and bears and there I’ll be with the phone stuck to the side of my face rolling my eyes and mourning the loss of time I’ll never get back.

Somehow it’s still much more terrifying to see you glaring at me from the corner of my screen than to go through all that procedure just to make you disappear.  Your a clusterfuck. 

Sincerely,

Begrudgingly,

Ashley

Filed under Android

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tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

A bottle opener…so many possibilities.

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about| how to know its over

I sat unamused as he rambled on

Tying excuse to excuse as a braid around my ears and through my fingers

Emptying his mouth of verbs and air

I felt like a fresh empty canvas had been walked upon

Like an clean glass had been smudged

This unnecessary exchange

This prank of a relationship

Suddenly I was glad she was waiting in the wings.

I smiled and hung up.  

My version is I didn’t hear a thing.

Filed under him

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I’m Leaving You.

I’m thinking of cheating on my Blackberry with an iPhone.  It’s been acting shady lately and hasn’t exactly been listening to me…it’s neglecting me.  Shutting off and not letting me in.  Giving me the cold shoulder.

Two can play that game.